WRHAMMONS.COM: The Writing, Running, Etc. Website

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Alternity, an Alternate History Novel
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Well, I showed him. Yes, dear, this old dog had his day when Review Day came. I told the world, in black and white, what I thought of him, and rest assured, my dear, when Roger Keane speaks, the world listens.

But I digress again. I'm sitting here at a conference table, writing this as I wait for a meeting to begin. Yes, writing is quite a nice way of distancing yourself from those around you, which in this case happens to be two fellow directors who are not the sharpest tools in the shed that is this organization. Which leads me into my Second Law of Public Relations.

But I get ahead of myself, my dear. Yes, your father would like to impart to you some of his wisdom gathered and honed over the years, scratched out on various notepads in rare down moments and now finally codified in Keane's Seven Laws of Public Relations. I put them down on paper (in violation of the Fifth Law of Public Relations, as you'll soon see) in case you, too, wish to choose a career in the field.

The First Law of Public Relations is to never admit that you're in Public Relations. You'll soon see why, but, alas, this meeting is starting...

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Excerpt from "Brand Patois: The New Sub-Dialect of Corporate Standard English" by Dr. Jane Goodnone. True Nature. 17 March 2XXX:

It was deep in the canyons of Midtown Manhattan that we came across the best example of this sub-dialect, which seems to arise wherever and whenever incorporation takes place, and which seems to manifest itself in inverse proportion to the originality of the product it is supposed to be promoting.

We shall call this corporation Magazine X (for obvious reasons), but we'll reproduce verbatim here a transcript of a senior management meeting we were kindly granted access to with our recording devices:

Director of Directors: I want to know who gave permission for the use of those covers.




















































The First Law of Public Relations by W.R. Hammons:

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