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Well, my dear, it's time I wrap up this first father/daughter letter of mine - it's now off to an evening pour to celebrate another award for the magazine. I will save the Seventh Law for some other time, but the mention of a "pour" prompts me to close with the Sixth Law of Public Relations: "If one must drink a lot, one must drink alone." Living with so many lies creates a lot of tension, my dear daughter, but it's dangerous to drown the tension to the point where you lose track of the lies.
But I hope that such concerns are far, far in your future, my dear daughter, if they are in your future at all. Know this much: I hope that I am successful enough in what I do that perhaps my child will never need to do it herself, that she will be able to live a carefree life full of decency and honesty. What I do, my dear daughter, I do for you.
It was at an evening reception of the same Magazine X that we came across not only another excellent example of Brand Patois, but also a fascinating destruction ritual of another magazine, a "rival brand" if you will. First the snippet of Patois:
[At this point, the Director of Meatpacking seizes the Brandie and interjects himself mid-sentence, a common artifice among speakers of Corporate Standard]