Bill Hammons: Writing and Running in Boulder, Colo.

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17

“You mean--”

“I mean nothing’s certain, but I might be.”

“Are you sh--”

“But I didn’t come here to talk about that. I came here to get you fired.” To his dumb look she explained, “This isn’t healthy for you, Henry, and I care about you.” She lowered her gaze to the carpet beneath her feet. “I spoke with Larry in his office before I came here. Then I told him I needed to use the bathroom.”

Her last words were spoken to an empty chair, as Henry had already bolted from the room and was running down a corridor in the direction of Cohn’s office, past a Calvin who vainly tried to get him to stop.

Henry found the door to his employer’s office wide open, and walked right in. “What did she say to you?”

Cohn looked up from his chair, then replaced his phone in its cradle. "Have a seat, Henry. Smoke?”

Henry waved the pack away as Cohn leaned forward to slide an unmarked envelope across his desk. “I’m gonna have to let you go, Henry. That’s a nice severance check, Henry, which I hope you’ll take as a demonstration of our gratitude for your nearly seven months of service. Calvin is packing your bags as we speak.”

“Listen, whatever she told you--”

“Whatever, Henry. It doesn’t matter what Mrs. Robinson said to me. I’ve been wanting to change our business model for some time now.”

Henry held the envelope firmly in one hand. “What change?”

Cohn leaned back in his creaking leather chair and stared at the ceiling with a sudden smile. “The URL, for starters. We’re changing it to studs-dot-com. It’s taking things a step further. The idea came to me when I was reading about ethnic cleansing in the former Yugoslavia.” Cohn’s eyes were lit and his hands were making grand gestures in the air polluted with his smoke. “I was reading about the increased chance of pregnancy that’s the result of a woman having multiple sex partners in one session.”

“You mean a gang bang?”

s.t.u.d. by W.R. Hammons:

1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 5/ 6/ 7/ 8/ 9/ 10/ 11/ 12/ 13/ 14/ 15/ 16/ 17/ 18/ 19

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